Words evolve. They come, they go.

There was a time when, if someone called you a “rascal,” you would have run them through with your sword to avenge your honor. Now though, we just laugh with incredulity that anyone would use such a word. “A rascal!? Oh, ho ho, ha ha. That’s rich. Ha ha ha!”

We accept the evolution of words as part of the language territory. But researchers in the U.K. have used a supercomputer to determine that certain everyday words are already on their way out. Words like guts, squeeze, dirty, stick, bad, push, turn, wipe, and stab, will likely not be with us a thousand years from now. I don’t know about you, but this bad news makes my guts squeeze! No push? No stab? No wipe? No sticks and stones will break my bones?

I think it’s a pity we don’t use words like rascal anymore. And to think of “squeeze” following in “rascal’s” footsteps, well, it makes me mournful. Just how on earth then, would we ask for fresh-squeezed lemonade? “May I have some of that soothing liquid made from fresh lemons that have been chopped in half and mashed down on a pointy thing so that the juice squirts out?” (And since words like “fresh,” “mash,” “point,” and “squirt” would be obsolete as well, the lemonade merchant would likely be staring at you, wondering what planet you’re from. “Do you mean treeling-squoozelicious?” he inquires politely.)

You get the picture. It’s ugly. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not a word elitist, although some would accuse me as such. Rather, I’m a believer in equal-opportunity for all words. Words like “rascal,” “eschew,” and “thuggery,” should never have fallen by the wayside. It’s just so wrong. Therefore, in the name of equal-opportunity, I say we dust off the musty words in our lexicon and use them right alongside our everyday words. Are you with me? Here are some helpful examples to get you started:

“Just hurry up will you, and don your toggery! We’re late!”
“Well, my little poplet, you don’t have to get so peevish.”
“What’s for breakfast? Why, we’re having mashed loblolly and milk, of course.”
“Hard day at work. I’m super vexed.”
“Wow, you’re looking tricksy today.”
“Totally awesome! Most eximious!”
“What a cute, chuffy little baby.”
“Get off my back! You’re beleaguering me!”
“I desiderate some fresh-squeezed lemonade, please.”

Should you have additional helpful examples, please, by all means, elucidate.